today I am not at work. instead I am home with a cold, my two adorable dogs, the internet, and coffee. I am feeling pretty good, actually. soon I will eat lunch, get properly dressed, and do a bit of yardwork.
ah, yardwork. I don’t even mind doing it but the problem with yardwork is that when it needs to be done, it needs to be done now. damn your plans! or your mood. rake my leaves! sigh. I put it off for too long this year, and now it’s pretty cold out. well, 11 degrees anyway. not awful, but it’s chilly. and the yardwork needs to get done soon before the snow flies, or it will be an even bigger mess in the spring.
as a kid it ALWAYS snowed before Hallowe’en. these days, not so much. hello climate change. or, maybe I just remember things wrong. the snow will be here soon, though, even if it doesn’t stick around.
my weekend began kind of annoyingly, then became irrationally annoying, then legitimately frustrating, but then ended well.
Friday after work I had a 2 hour soccer skills clinic. it was awesome, except that I was already sick with my cold and I didn’t have a ton of energy to devote to running around. later that evening I wanted to do something with friends and thought maybe a group trip to see Fubar 2 would be rad. it would have been, but I couldn’t find anyone. I was basically okay with that, although a little disappointed; I texted 20 people and had no takers. I could have gone over to a friend’s house and chilled out quietly, but by then I’d showered post-soccer and really didn’t feel like putting myself back together again. so I watched tv on my laptop and was asleep just after midnight.
Saturday morning I had the last 2 hours of the soccer clinic. I learned a few new things that have me jazzed up to play soon. woo! I then went Hallowe’en costume shopping for many hours. I wanted to go with friends, but folks were busy. I texted about 6 of the likeliest folks, but yeah, busy. I got all of the bits of my costume except for some bubble wrap and perhaps more body paint, and I even got the insurance form for my glasses signed by the optician. $250 back soon will be nice!
Saturday night I was supposed to FG’s comedy show, but I wasn’t feeling all that motivated since we’re not together anymore. and it was $25. and it took him 24 hours to reply to the text I sent asking if I could hang out with him and the comedy boys since I couldn’t find anyone to go with. he replied at 7:45 that ya, I could. but, too late. I was already making dinner and thinking I wouldn’t go.
this is where my weekend got super frustrating. I got bad news from work and was pretty angry. and then I was feeling frustrated that I couldn’t find anyone at all to do any of the things I’d hoped to do on the weekend. nobody for Fubar 2. nobody for costume shopping. nobody for comedy. argh!!
but then I decided well I guess I’ll go hang out with a couple of friends that I love a lot, even if they aren’t doing the things I’d wanted to do. and it was lovely. we talked a bit, then went to see The Social Network. the movie was really great! I loved it. forget that it’s about Facebook — that’s irrelevant to the story. the relationships were fascinating, and the cinematography was surprisingly beautiful in places.
on Sunday I got invited out to play games early in the afternoon, but instead I did yard work and went to my neighbours to watch the football game and work on my Hallowe’en costume. it was just us three girls, and it was great. and we did some nice relaxing and I felt happy and content again. I feel happy and content again.
on Sunday evening, which was yesterday of course, wall climbing started up again too. yay! we all had fun catching up with each others’ lives. so nice. and I got to the top of the 60 foot wall on my first climb, even though I fell a few times in order to do it. I lost a lot of muscle tone in my forearms while being off climbing since June. but, I was glad that I still had the basic skills. and I am glad today that I’m not near as sore as I thought I’d be. soon, I should be back to where I was!
I’m feeling like I have a lot of potential in my life right now, and that’s a good feeling. I’m a little daunted by how to turn potential into reality, though. most of this stuff one can’t control. you can throw your hat in the ring and decide to jump in, but the results are unpredictable and a little bit too tied to ego. I’m talking about relationships, both friendships and romantic relationships. and I’m talking about work, both my current job and my career path in general. these are the things where it’s easier not to try than it is to try and risk failure. although trying and failing is still better than not trying at all, it’s something I’ve always found absolutely terrifying.
I’ll post more soon.
