I assumed in the past few years that my sister was depressed. my mom told me this weekend that she thinks my sister is bipolar. so, I read a bit about it. yep, sounds like my sister.
it will be two years in February since I’ve seen her, and I don’t plan to see her any time soon. she was her usual abusive self when I saw her then, and I decided that once and for all I was done. she was mad that everyone was asleep when she arrived (at that point my dad had been back to work for 10 months but he was still very much weakened by his cancer treatments, and it was midnight and he was exhausted). she was mad that her room was full of construction dust (at least she got a bed; our brother slept on the laminate floor in the dining room). she wouldn’t eat the lunch we made her. we had family photos taken and she scowled throughout. the photographer, a friend of mine, was convinced she hated him. no, she hates me. and my mom. and everything that isn’t her idea. it was my gift to my parents for their 35th wedding anniversary. I’m glad we got the photos done, but her behaviour was humiliating for us all.
until that trip she was at least nice to our dad. she’s always hated my mom and I. even as a kid she wasn’t very nice to me. for the last little while, though, she has been cruel to our father now too. she was always Daddy’s Girl and I’ve been mystified as to why she’s now shunning him. turns out, they had a fight after they left my place that weekend.
my mom told me this weekend that my sister had wanted our dad to take her to look at condos at a resort town. he, again still weakened by cancer treatments, decided he couldn’t take her because he was too tired. it was a five hour drive there, and a five hour drive back. and it had to be done in a day because she wasn’t in town long. she threw a fit and has been avoiding his calls since.
yeah. she’s a peach.
here’s a better one: apparently my sister was in Saskatchewan for a whole month. she lives just outside of Detroit, but she was working in Moosomin. she contacted our gramma and saw her. she contacted an aunt and uncle and saw them. she did not tell our parents she was nearby. our parents, meanwhile, called and left message after message. they had vacation time and they wanted to go down to Michigan and visit her. but, she never returned their calls and they had no idea she was only a day’s drive away.
it was my sister’s 36th birthday on Saturday. my parents called and left messages, which she did not return. both of my parents cried.
I feel so bad for my poor parents.
I am trying to not let this make me hate my sister more. I am trying to hate her actions, instead of hating her. if she is actually mentally ill, instead of a raging bitch, then I should feel compassion towards her.
I don’t, though. not really.
for the past year I’ve been wanting to reach out to her, because I have recognized some of her behaviour as stuff I went through when I was really depressed. I haven’t, though, because I am quite convinced that it will do no good. I doubt she’d read an email from me. if she did respond, it would likely be with abuse. she won’t respond, though, and I’ll wait and wonder for weeks if she will.
despite that, I’m writing her an email. I don’t think it will do a damn bit of good, but at least I can say I tried.
and I’m still going to continue to avoid her. if I never see her again, I’m okay with that. but, the way she abuses our parents? she’s making them absolutely miserable and they don’t deserve that.
