I’m hoping I can get rid of this feeling soon, but earlier today I felt like I was in a slump. I feel okay now, but a little sad.
things are meh with FG and I. I remember with my ex worrying every time we had a disagreement. I wasn’t sure what the threshold for dumping was. for FG, though, every time he does something that I don’t like, I wonder if I should dump him.
I am so skittish when it comes to relationships. yep, I totally want a commitment. but I also had a horrendous experience last time I was in a long relationship, and I am terrified I might make the same mistake again.
FG and I seem to be super similar. he is kind of the boy version of me. do I want to date someone exactly the same as me? I am not too sure.
last week FG ended up staying at my house from Friday night until Thursday morning. it was so great! but then Friday things were meh at first but then got better. Saturday I only saw him for an hour and that was just to work on his resume. Sunday we saw each other also for only about an hour and it included him accusing me of having a bad memory when I am pretty sure he never told me the thing I supposedly forgot. it was irritating. it was also a lot like my ex.
I can’t keep comparing FG to my ex, it’s not fair to FG, but it’s so damn hard!
he moves to his new place this week, so I won’t likely see him tomorrow and Wednesday he has an improv thing he’s doing (which I’ll be going to). Thursday I am hoping to go swimming, but maybe he’ll have time for me later. at the very least I should see him this weekend. I am hoping to have some talks with him. I don’t want to get too heavy, but we need to start talking to each other more. I would like things to either get better or end. I think we do have potential to be pretty happy together, but it won’t happen the way things are.
blah. I think people think we spend massive amounts of time together. except for last week, we don’t. I feel like my friends have all but disappeared, though, and I’m not sure if it’s circumstantial, my fault, or theirs. it’s frustrating, though. I’m beginning to gather together new friends, and while they are lovely, it’s because my old friends seem to have slipped away. I don’t like that feeling. I miss my friends.
